


The Memory

by Kelly_Namikaze



Series: Adam's Song [9]
Category: Batman - Fandom, Under the Red Hood
Genre: Drinking, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 22:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12897750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelly_Namikaze/pseuds/Kelly_Namikaze
Summary: Alfred had just finished cleaning when a call shook him to the core of his foundations.





	The Memory

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the last one shot in this series, I think that I’m going to aim to start a multi chapter fic starting where this one leaves off. Let me know what you think below!

Alfred stared at the picture of the young boy with a large grin and a heart of gold, and he felt his heart tear for what felt like the millionth time that night. The bottle in his hand sloshed as his hand shook, for once forgetting about the British properness that he had used for a very long time.

It was eight in the morning, and he figured that by now everyone was either asleep, or to busy to need his assistance, so he found his way to a bottle. He rarely drank, and for good reason too. When he drank, he got angry, lashed out, much like the young master. However, desperate times call for desperate measures, and this was his. He only wanted to have one night where he could forget, but of course he should’ve known that when master Richard brought that box home he was screwed. He knew what was in that box, and so he quickly pried the oldest of the robins away, trying to stop him from falling down that hole, quickly ignoring his own advice.

He felt rage rise in him as the most recent picture stared back at him. It was only a couple days before the incident.

It was Damian and Jason, the two of them asleep after a movie, Damian grasping his shirt lightly, his head on the elder's shoulder. It had been taken when Alfred had come to tell them it was time for patrol.

He left them to sleep.

The day of the incident, Jason had stopped by the manor. He had only seen Alfred, and only to give back the recipe box that had appeared in his kitchen one day. He smiled, and Alfred couldn’t believe he didn’t see how forced it was. “Hey, Alfie. I’m just here to give you this back. I’ve already memorized everything in here, and I added a few that you probably haven’t tried.” He glanced at a clock. “I gotta go, chores have to be done.” He disappeared before Alfred could refuse.

The old butler took another swig straight from the bottle. “Stupid bloody boy.”

———

There was a message on the phone that everyone in the family had insisted he got, which was odd in and of itself. Then he saw it was Jason, and his curiosity grew. He had seen the boy earlier today, what could he need?

He hit play on the voicemail, not ready for the tired tone of voice that came over the line.

“ _Hey, Alfie. I don’t have anything light to start this one off with, so I’m just going to get to the heart of things. I’m not going to lie, life has been hard since I came back. I now know that Bruce could never kill the Joker, no matter what. I should have never tried to get Bruce to do it for me. So I did it myself. I know that I was finally getting back to the family, but I couldn’t let him live after what happened.”_

To say the butler was shocked was an understatement. Jason never really verbalized anything, even with Alfred. He read so much, and talked a lot, never really saying anything. He shied away from real emotion, as if it would burn him. He wasn’t all that surprised though, none of his parental figures had been particularly good at emotions, him included.

“ _I’m sorry that I made you deal with the fallout of my poor choices. You already have done so much for the family, it wasn’t fair to make you do more. You have to know that you were always my favourite.”_

He was aware that Jason favoured him over the rest, but he didn’t know why he was saying anything. It was an unspoken truth, or at least he thought.

_“You were the one who had those wise words, a shoulder to cry on, and a pat on the back when I got an A. You mean the world to me Alfred, so I am giving you the final words I’ll ever speak. You know, since you’ll be able to remember them.”_

Dear lord, Alfred thought. He’s going to kill himself. If he had been holding a tray, it would’ve been on the floor. As it was, he still slid to the ground, his brow crinkling as he sat there, in a state of shock.

_“You should head to the park by main, in behind the bush by the oak tree with a crotchety old owl. You’ll see a plant that has multi coloured berries on them. It’s for you. They’re not poisonous, actually quite tasty. And it’ll live forever if you take care of it. A last memento, if you would.”_

Alfred froze at that sentence, before bursting into action. He would have to contact Master Bruce, he would have to-

“ _Alright, I know you won’t like it, but this is where we part ways, old friend. Don’t come see me until Dami is in college, okay? He’ll need all the help he can get. I’ve been thinking about what I want on my grave this time, here it is._ ”

-Get the med bay ready just in case, he would have to-

“ _If I die, I die knowing that my life was used to protect others. Bye, Alfie.”_

-Make sure he never failed Jason ever again.

———

He was down in the cave, changing the bandages on Jason’s arms, grimacing at the lines that would surely scar. He didn’t want it to scar, that meant that every time he wore a t-shirt they would be reminded of what had happened.

What their neglect had done to him.

And that’s just it, wasn’t it? Because, in the end, it was their neglect. They had told Jason he was welcome back into the family, but rarely did anyone try to get him to participate in anything. They always thought he’d decline. It’s no wonder that he thought there would be a party in his absence.

In the butler's rage, he wrapped the bandages a bit too tight, drawing a groan from the young man below him. Alfred stilled, as blue-green eyes blinked open and an oh so familiar grin slid onto his face.

“Hey Alfie, why don’t cha let up? Wouldn’t want me to die, eh?”


End file.
